Day 6: Unease

Let it be to me according to your word. Luke 1:38

When Ryan asked me to share my reflections about today’s readings – Unease – I was immediately anxious, restless, somewhat worried – yes, I guess I was feeling some uneasiness. Why? Because I find myself in uneasy circumstances in my life today…and like Mary, have encountered what it means to trust God on this difficult journey: Luke 1:38 ~ Let it be to me according to your word.”

In our western commercialized view of Christmas, we have painted a picture of a “silent night where all is calm, and all is bright…” So acknowledging pain or discomfort during the Christmas season is almost “un-Christian.” But wasn’t the Christmas story really about the unease of Mary’s surrender and obedience to an uncertain outcome? Why on earth would she accept such a daunting task?

I believe, as the author [Scott Erickson] suggests, for the HOPE and LOVE that awaited her (and the world) on the other side.

The author brilliantly compares the discomfort and unease of morning sickness and pregnancy, to the uneasy process of spiritual growth in our lives. The author states, “Just like morning sickness, the unease is a strategy of the soul to protect you from doing all the things as usual that could harm this new life being grown in you. It is for love that you have been moved from the known to the unknown.”

At times, this spiritual growth we experience may be very uncomfortable because we expose ourselves to new relationships or perspectives that rock our current world views or truths that we previously held to be sacred and unchangeable.

Although I find myself in one of the most difficult journeys of my life during this Christmas season, I still look forward to celebrating the hope of the season by decorating my house and tree and sharing life and love with my friends and family. Despite my struggle which is unbearable at times, I’ve chosen to trust God to walk with me during this season and show me things about myself and Him that I would not have seen without this experience.

To quote the author, “It’s for love that you have been moved from your comfortable perch so you can be enlarged by a different perspective.”

Thank you God for loving and growing me so…even though it may be uncomfortable and hurt sometimes. I know in the end, it will be worth it.

—Debbie Mathews