The Need to Be Right

October 02, 2017, By: Dana Cramer

“You’re familiar with the command to the ancients, ‘Do not murder.’ I’m telling you that anyone who is so much as angry with a brother or sister is guilty of murder. Carelessly call a brother ‘idiot!’ and you just might find yourself hauled into court. Thoughtlessly yell ‘stupid!’ at a sister and you are on the brink of hellfire. The simple moral fact is that words kill. This is how I want you to conduct yourself in these matters. If you enter your place of worship and, about to make an offering, you suddenly remember a grudge a friend has against you, abandon your offering, leave immediately, go to this friend and make things right. Then and only then, come back and work things out with God.” Matthew 5: 21-24 (MSG)

The need to be right can be so wrong. Don’t get me wrong, there is a right way and a wrong way, and a whole lot of gray in this world. Perceptions, experiences, circumstances all push us in different directions. What is right for one can be wrong for another. There is nothing wrong with diversity; God made us unique for a reason, we need each other.

Recovery is really about relationships. God knows how messy and hurtful they can be and how wonderful as well. It takes work to build healthy relationships and it takes prioritization of beliefs and values to see them through. In fact, Jesus said if you want to have a rich relationship with me, mend your earthly relationships first; Step Nine of Celebrate Recovery. Making amends isn’t just about setting the record straight with each other; it’s about our spiritual growth with Jesus. But for some the only amends we can make is through forgiveness when faced with dangerous or abusive relationships.

We can think of a lot of reasons not to make amends. For me and for many it’s the need to be right; I have the right to my anger because I am the one that’s hurt; I am the one that has taken the brunt of it all; if you would only listen to me we would have been okay; I have every right to treat him/her as I do because they deserve it; they did a lot more to hurt me than I ever hurt them. We may be right in some of these scenarios, but it won’t help us very much in recovery. Christian recovery isn’t about who is right and who is wrong; it’s about your relationship with Jesus. The beauty of Step Nine is found in Matthew 5–Jesus never asks the other person to make amends, he asks you! The real question is will we be obedient to God’s word instead of our own. Will we surrender our need to be right for a growing and rich relationship with Jesus?

Love God, love people, Jesus first!

Dana Cramer // Celebrate Recovery at Crossroads

Celebrate Recovery at Crossroads Church Calendar
October 2-8, 2017

Friday, October 6: Message Night

  • 6 pm: Our Hospitality Team is preparing a wonderful dinner for you. Please join us for food and fellowship.
  • 7 pm: Join us for a night of celebration through worship and testimony. It’s Birthday night, please come and share the healing power of God’s love in your life.
  • 8pm: Open Share Groups
  • 9pmSold Rock Café


  1. New Men’s 12-Step Group has started and meets every Monday at 6:30pm in room 146. Enrollment is open.
  2. New Women’s 12-Step Group has started and meets every Monday at 6:30pm in room 144. Enrollment is open.