Relational Recovery

February 18, 2019, By: Dana Cramer

So this is my prayer: that your love will flourish and that you will not only love much but well. Learn to love appropriately. You need to use your head and test your feelings so that your love is sincere and intelligent, not sentimental gush. Love a lovers life, circumspect and exemplary, a life Jesus will be proud of: bountiful in fruits from the soul, making Jesus Christ attractive to all, getting everyone involved in the glory and praise of God.” Philippians 1: 9-11(Message)

Celebrate Recovery is more about relational recovery than most people realize. It sounds odd to those who have not attended a group or have experienced working the 12 Steps. Most people I know outside of recovery think 12 Step groups are for the alcoholic or addict. What many don’t know is that 30 percent of attendees at CR are there for addiction, 70 Percent attend for a variety of other life issues. The common thread for all who attend is seeking out our loving God and then redefining relationships. When an addict starts recovery it’s about giving up their relationship with their addiction and starting a new relationship with God in a process that moves them forward. The same is true for people seeking healing from life issues such as co-dependency, abuse, resentment and bitterness, anger, lust, abortion, and hurts that they have not been able to work through or let go of. The variety of issues that people come to CR for is astonishing to me and what is even more amazing is the recovery they have found—praise be to God.

Love and discernment is a much better pairing than love and judgment. I remember many years ago at a couples in recovery retreat Nan and I helped lead one weekend the topic was on love. As we broke out in our discussion group a woman asked me if love is all you need in a marriage. My answer angered her because it wasn’t what she wanted to hear. Of course love is the most important thing in a relationship, Jesus tells us to “Love God and love your neighbor.” But what happens when we do not act out of love, but instead act out in our imperfectness—when we impose our will on others and demand or criticize or judge? What happens when fear rules us and we become a doormat for another’s aggression? We end up hurting others and ourselves.

What’s the difference between discernment and judgment? Discernment is to first look in the mirror and accept our own imperfectness; that we are all sinners, we are all flawed. We begin to realize other people are not the enemy; I am my own worst enemy and we need to start there. It is at this point I move from judgment—which is a false sense of superiority—to discernment. Let’s face it, we all have those tough discussions and situations in relationships; when it is done God’s way, the focus is on love and truth—sometimes it still hurts, but caring for someone lovingly is to help them seek the truth that only God can provide. As we experience a growing relationship with Jesus we learn to relate to others in a new and loving way. When we bring a healthier self into all of our relationships, we have better relationships. And for those that are in strained or broken relationships, we have an opportunity to improve them.

God loves you; Jesus died for you; His spirit lives in you! Say Yes to Jesus!

Dana Cramer // Celebrate Recovery at Crossroads


Celebrate Recovery at Crossroads Church Calendar
February 18-24, 2019

Friday, February 22: Testimony Night

  • 6pm: Our Hospitality Team is preparing a wonderful dinner for you. Please join us for food and fellowship.
  • 6:30pmPlease join us for an hour of worship and a recovery testimony.
  • 7:30pm: Open Share Groups.
  • 8:30pm: Solid Rock Café